Time for a laugh

Actual Australian Court case (read on)
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed a man opposite her was smiling at her
she immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused when on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing.
She complained to the driver and he had the man arrested
The case came up in court
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
What he had to say for himself.
The man replied, “Well your Honour, it was like this.”
“When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help noticing
her condition.
She sat down under a sign that said “The double mint
twins are coming” and I grinned, then she moved and sat
under a sign that said ”Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
”William’s big stick did the trick”, I could hardly contain myself.
But, your Honour when she moved the fourth time, and sat under a sign that said “Goodyear rubber could have prevented the accident” ….I just lost it
CASE DISMISSED

 

Great.

 

How did you remember that Arie?

 

OK Neil Beat This One,
Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring .
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and
is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense. "

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings. "

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask,
"So, how long have you been wearing one? "

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck. "

 

5 people are in a plane that is about to crash.

The five people are: -Trump -Morgan Freeman -Larry Page -The Pope -A schoolboy

There are only 4 parachutes.

Morgan freeman says that he is an entertainer of millions, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.

Larry Page says that he founded Google, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.

Trump says that he is the smartest man in America, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.

There are only two people left, and one parachute. The Pope says "I have lived a long and happy life, you can take the parachute" to the schoolboy.

The schoolboy replies "no, it's OK, we can both go, the smartest man in America took my backpack! "

Does that beat it?

 

I hope that you are not planing your next holiday in America Neil,

 

Hope Arie won't kick us out,

The Country Doctor


A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who
was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on
his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.
- At the first house a woman complains, "I've been a little sick to my
stomach. "
- The older doctor says, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh
fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that
does the trick? "
- As they left, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman?
How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly? "
- "I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in
there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels
and apple cores in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick. "
- The younger doctor said "Pretty clever. If you don't mind, I think I'll
try that at the next house. "
- Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a
younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did
and said, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately.. "
- "You've probably been doing too much for the Church," the younger doctor
told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps. "
- As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well. Your
diagnosis is almost certainly correct, she's very active in the church, but
how did you arrive at it? "
- "I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and,
when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the vicar under the bed. "

 

Very good. I think we might have to pull the humour plug for a while.