Trials n Tribulations of Internet connection

Let’s see.
DSL "“ Static on line. Telephone interface box on outside of house. Opening door tears open Hornet nest built inside. Telephone serviceman and I flee.

Later on switch to cable.
Buried cable line makes a slight hum. Dogs successfully end annoyance. Dig up line and chew through it.

Deciding whose gonna pay for repair (200 ft of line gotta be buried a LOT deeper) Cable serviceman n I look at hole, look at mangled line "“ stare around yard "“ look at 'Beware of Dog' sign on fence - Uh Oh

But just then 12 lb. bichon frise dog runs up. Attacks his loose shoe lace n valiantly nibbles at it.

He pets dog - shrugs n writes repair order. Leaves.
I let the German Shepherds out.