Oil change (women vs men)

Oil Change

Oil Change instructions for Women :

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change: $20.00
Coffee: $1.00
Total: $21.00
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Oil Change instructions for Men :

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store, and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner, and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.

2) Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16 box-end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties.

17) Drink a beer.

18) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

19) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

20) Remember drain plug from step 11.

21) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

22) Drink beer.

23) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

24) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill.

25) Drink beer.

26) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.

27) Begin cussing fit.

28) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

29) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

30) Beer.

31) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

32) Beer.

33 ) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

34) Beer.

35) Lower car from jack stands.

36) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.

37) Beer.

38) Test drive car.

39) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

40) Car gets impounded.

41) Call loving wife, make bail.

42) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00
But you know the job was done right!

 

And your point is?

 

I just go to Advance Auto Part to buy my oil and filter. I drive home and pull up on ramps, then let the truck cool. After that it takes me ten minutes to change the oil. I don't end up with a crappy oil brand or filter plus the oil filter and pan plug aren't accidentally left loose by going to those quick change gip joints.

 

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change: $20.00
Coffee: $1.00
Total: $21.00

Don't know where this Jiffy Lube is located but where I live it costs more like $32.00.

And the coffee is free

 

Looks good at first!

But no man, husband dad brother to tell her car needs oil change.

40,000 miles blown engine

Cost about 4000.00!

Man vs woman bout even..........

Mike

 

agree

 

Hi Guys, Just carried out oil/air filter changes on my car and the wife's car. One hour total time and $90.00 total cost. Retired "A" grade Auto Techs can still maintain a vehicle and save $'s. When my wife took her car for it's last service at the Dealers, it cost $168.00! They didn't send a reminder this time so I volunteered as I had to do mine at the same time. We dispose of the waste oil at our Local Council collection point at the rubbish dump for FREE providing it is less than 20 litres in total. I had glass of wine after the job and didn't go driving so there was additional costs or loss of license.Neil.

 

Having commuted to graduate school in an old Honda Civic (the model that resembled a pregnate roller-skate) I enjoyed the humor.

That car emitted such a cloud of smoke after being parked all day that the guys who rode with me would meet me on the other side of the quad rather than be seen near the car when first started.

I have used a local mom and pop shop for a long time for the good will and such, but I am thinking of going to the Mobil 1 extended range synthetic oil and doing the chore myself at the next change. That would cut my maintenance costs (3 vehicles in the family) to about 1/3 of what it has been annually.